


Wholly Unprofessional

by Project0506



Series: Soft Wars [70]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Humor, M/M, chatfic, gen - Freeform, momentary angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23925154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506
Summary: Recently, Rex's use of the Priority Alert has been ... suspect.Chatfic
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/CC-1138 | Bacara
Series: Soft Wars [70]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775
Comments: 89
Kudos: 714





	Wholly Unprofessional

**Author's Note:**

> HERE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
> 
> Credit to @sheApunk89 for the angstier bits. Credit, blame, whatever. That thing.
> 
> Please check out [@fatima-ackerson's](https://fatima-ackerson.tumblr.com/) wonderful [Art of Vaughn and Neyo](https://fatima-ackerson.tumblr.com/post/617207918385823744/vaughn-and-neyo-i-have-an-urge-can-i) on Tumblr!

It takes an embarrassingly long time for Cody to figure out what Rex is actually up to.

Oh he got the first level of it right away. Cody likes to think he’s typically a fairly long-suffering sort, but by now every single brother knows he has one very particular pet peeve.

_ Priority _ _ Alert _

_Rex:_ _All Hands: at your leisure please see Torrent’s reporting on the current sociopolitical environment on Caresh Minor, with particular emphasis on the debate on farming and mining rights on it’s third, eighth and eleventh moons_ _. Please contact us for_ _any further information_ _._

_ Priority Response _

_Bly:_ _What’s going on on Caresh Minor?_

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _What’s Caresh Minor and does anyone care?_

_ P _ _ riority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _Torrent has completed a_ _4_ _day tour in the area and has successfully stymied the initial incursion of_ _Separatist forces._

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _You showed up, shot three droids and this is priority?_

_ Priority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _I ran them over, actually. Please see the_ _subsection_ _on alternative vehicular tactics._ _We all survived, by the way._

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _…._ _congratulations?_

_ Priority Response _

_Ponds_ _:_ _I’m proud of whatever you do Rex’ika! Run over as many droids as you want!_

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _I_ _s this what we’re using Priority Chat for now?_

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _No._

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _You are all_ _a_ _disgrace._

_ Priority Response _

_Ponds_ _:_ _I don’t quite remember ASKING YOUR OPINION Commander Bacara._

_ Priority Response _

_Doom_ _:_ _This is literally a grease fire in an engine room._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _SHH._ _This is the most entertainment I get all_ _ten_ _day, shut it._

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Rex. Stop abusing the Priority Alert!_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert  _ _ Deactivated _

Cody doesn’t expect that will be the end of it. No, not after the Bacara thing. Rex is a little brother with a grudge and free access to something that _really_ annoys Cody. This is going to go until Rex calms down or gets bored. Rex has a long attention span and a pettiness to rival Cody’s. It’ll be a while.

So it keeps happening. And the problem is every single time it’s relevant to Rex’s current mission. And it DOES include notes on tactics that proved effective, things that any commander could theoretically use, if they find themselves in similar situations. They’re all things that _could_ be sent in general chat since it’s never anything immediately pressing, but they’re always _just_ relevant enough that they could be allowed in Priority. Always right on that edge of appropriate, falling _just_ inside the official definition of priority, so Cody _can’t_ actually reprimand him for it.

So the messages keep coming, and Cody keeps getting that little annoyed tick in his temple that makes Obi-Wan hide a grin. And he keeps turning priority back off, and telling himself to ignore it.

In retrospect, it is really ridiculously embarrassing how long it took him to realize. And it’s doubly embarrassing that it’s actually Wolffe that realizes first.

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Rex_ _:_ _Torrent would like to report an extremely successful campaign_ _on Vesh. After just under three tendays,_ _we have cleared nearly the entirety of the surface. We can confirm control of all listed strategic positions both surface-bound and in orbit._ _I’d like to highlight the effectiveness of_ _our jetpack squads and their innovative tactics in enclosed spaces,_ _details of which are included in our formal report_ _. Please contact us for further information._

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Rex._

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _Wait._ _Cody wait._

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _Rex you karking void-brained polycotton fluff headed nerd. Are you sending karking letters to your boyfriend through Priority chat?_

_ Priority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _I am simply ensuring widest readership of our lessons learned. Any other use_ _would be irresponsible._

No. No he _isn’t_. Cody stares at his chat screen long enough that the words swim in front of his eyes. No Rex _wouldn’t_.

Yes he would. Yes Rex would absolutely use the bounds of protocol to write letters to Bacara.

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _Unprofessional_ _._

And yes, Bacara would absolutely use insults to tell Rex he got the message. Cody _hates them both_.

He turns off the Priority Alert. He has his tech team set up a program to shut off the Priority Alert immediately after Rex sends one.

_After_ he sends one. Cody’s not a _complete_ monster, and they’ve spent a lot of time apart after all. At least he doesn’t think he’s a monster, and keeps not thinking so all the way through Torrent’s next engagement.

* * *

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Bly_ _:_ _Rex is_ _fine. He’s got a minor concussion, his medic is keeping him from screens until that clears up because of light sensitivity but he’ll be fine._

_ Priority Response _

_Ponds_ _:_ _I know. I literally_ _just told you that_

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _Bly what does Rex have on you to get you to send his boyfriend letters for him?_

_ Priority Response _

_Doom_ _:_ _There’s still a war happening right? I’m not imagining that?_

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Bly._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _The thick plottens!_

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _Apologies Marshall Commander._

With three words, CCs across the galaxy take notice. Three words, and the Command Chat activity dies. Activity in the side chats peters out. If Bly intended to get himself an audience, he is overwhelmingly successful.

CCs know the Shebse now, know how they interact. They know that even Bly can only be persuaded to a certain level of formal and no further.

There’s something wrong and it breeds a cold, hard pit in the bottom of Cody’s stomach, reeking of bitter disquiet.

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Bly what is going on._

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _Star Corps_ _last engagement was sneaking_ _a defector_ _across the Seppie blockade. It turns out they jam comms. Priority is the only thing that gets through._

Nova Corps has operated solely on the other side of the blockade for over three years.

Isolated, Bacara had said. Cut off. Fighting the persistent feeling of abandonment as much as they do the Seps. Cody had thought he’d understood what he meant.

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Forward Companies, please confirm._

There’s no response.

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _Forward Companies._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _I_ _f you’re asking whether we come back to ourselves, chest deep in mud on a planet we don’t_ _actually know_ _the name of, wondering which 74 names we forgot this morning when saying_ _Remembrances_ _and the only fucking thing still good in the galaxy is the fact that Bacara’s boyfriend_ _is a dumbass and his suicidal_ _jetpack stunt actually worked?_

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _Neyo_ _._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _Then yeah. Confirm._

Valor doesn’t even spend that much time on the other side, comparatively. Neyo’s Company is recon; they only ever do two to three month infiltrations before rotating back to deliver their intel and resupply.

But the Nova Marines have been deployed for three years. And on the other side of the blockade, Nova Marines don’t have general comms. The Nova Marines have never heard a single word that wasn’t a Priority Alert.

Cody swallows down nausea.

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _All hands:_ _I want a_ _check in every day. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, if you can check in without risking harm to yourself or your brothers, I want to hear from you._ _You are authorized to use Priority if necessary._

Cody can’t rush his plans. He can’t move before they’re ready or they’ll risk failing, risk _everything_.

If there was a way, he’d pull Nova and Valor and Commander Jet’s Winder Company today. But the Republic wants the Marines deployed forward, and Valor’s the only way they get data and Winder’s the only way they get supplies. Until Cody declares his clan, he has to leave his brothers in hell.

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _Thank you._

Cody laughs sadly, his hand tightening on his bracer. Bacara will take anything he gets, won’t he? Take whatever he’s given, and thank him for it as if it’s a gift instead of common decency.

_ Priority Response _

_Cody_ _:_ _You could have said something._

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _We have enough._ _We endure._

They’ll never leave Concord Dawn, Cody decides. Even if planets do end up willing to hire soldiers from the Vode, Cody won’t let the Novas enlist. Not for a very long time. Not until Cody has seen the eyes of every single one of them and they look back, confident that they are clan. Maybe not even then.

Cody leaves the Priority Alert up for hours.

* * *

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Rex_ _:_ _Torrent reports a complete_ _ly_ _successful_ _ground_ _campaign_ _on_ _Nar’telaan._ _In particular, I would like to highlight the effectiveness of the Torrent’s new pistol-fired explosives. I was personally able to disable more than 18 droidekas from up to 500 meters._

There’s something… different about this one, Cody thinks. Cody is entirely sure that different isn’t a good thing. His fingers itch to deactivate the Priority Alert immediately. Something is brewing.

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What is this?_

Commander Neyo, apparently, agrees.

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _Nova_ _second_ _s_ _Torrent’s conclusions. The pistol-fired explosives they have developed are incredibly effective._

Cody, abruptly, gets a very bad feeling about this.

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _I_ _was able to destroy 23 droidekas._

No. No no no no no.

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _I_ _believe my max range was approximately 550 meters. I will need to confirm._

Cody _hates_ them _both_.

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _Rex_ _are you_ _flirting with your boyfriend over Priority Chat?_

_ Priority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _That would be incredibly irresponsible._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _The IMPORTANT question here is: where can I get myself a hot little Captain sidearm to impress with my kill count._ _I’m asking for me._

_ Priority Response _

_Ponds_ _:_ _Excuse me,_ _what._

_ Priority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _Please stand by._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _ _ :  _ _ CT- _ _ 23-0292 _ _ has been added to Command Chat _

Cody has officially given up. He never had control of this chat system, he doesn’t know why he ever pretended he did or ever thought he could make that real. He throws his bracer onto the side table, and goes to dig out Obi-Wan’s cheapest alcohol. If it’s an actual emergency, someone will send a reminder to his mail.

His bracer blips with incoming messages, and he drinks until he can ignore them.

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority Response _

_Ponds_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority Response _

_Fox_ _:_ _What_ _the fuck is going on right now_ _?_

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _Hello_ _Captain_ _Vaughn,_ _having a good time?_

_ Priority Response _

_Vaughn_ _:_ _Commander Bly!_ _Sir yes sir! Torrent’s air support squads are insane, but_ _incredibly_ _effective. I’m trying to adapt their less suicidal strategies, I’ll have you a_ _draft_ _training plan by the end of the_ _ten_ _day._

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _Good work, Captain._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority Response _

_Wolffe_ _:_ _Is this why you were sending Rex’s boyfriend messages for him_ _?_ _Because he’s letting That Shouty Shit train your_ _officers_ _on how to kill themselves with jetpacks?_

_ Priority Response _

_Bly_ _:_ _That would be unprofessional._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority Response _

_Rex_ _:_ _Vaughn,_ _Commander Neyo is looking for a liaison_ _between Valor and Torrent._

_ Priority Response _

_Vaughn_ _:_ _Happy to help sir._ _Commander Neyo, nice to meet you. Your work on Zardossa Stix was incredibly impressive._

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _But_

_ Priority Response _

_Neyo_ _:_ _What?_

_ Priority Response _

_Bacara_ _:_ _Disgraceful._ _Every single one of you._

**Author's Note:**

> Also have some KARKING VAUGHN. Who the hell asked for this? He was on screen for a total of 18 seconds. His wookiepedia page credits him in an episode as a corpse. What is WRONG with A this show and B y'all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Suicidal Sweetheart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931301) by [Kaito_Dragneel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaito_Dragneel/pseuds/Kaito_Dragneel)
  * [Broad-Shouldered Beasts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932138) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)
  * [Priority](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948995) by [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506)




End file.
